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Velocity is the one of the biggest threats to business. It’s an even bigger threat to your wellbeing and professional performance if you don’t get a handle on how to manage your boundaries and your brain through constant change.
This episode will provide a framework for thinking about boundary creation, provide tips on how to stay sane, and remain a high performing individual.
What happens in a fast-paced entrepreneurial organization is that you bust your butt creating things sometimes for and/or with your client and then those things are canceled or killed. Or it didn’t work.
This can be exasperating, exhausting and exciting all at once.
Reminding ourselves that Nothing is certain is the path to freedom.
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| I wanted to talk about workplace boundaries which I know takes on an interesting twist in a WFH error. Over the years, I developed this framework I am going to share for thinking about professional boundaries and I am also going to share a few tried and true tips that I know will help you drive impact while saving your sanity. We know that Velocity is the one of the biggest threats to business. It’s an even bigger threat to your wellbeing and professional performance if you don’t get a handle on how to manage your brain through this constant change. I promise, it’s possible to set boundaries, stay sane, and still deliver against expectations. I look at boundaries through the lens of what I call the 3 C’s clarity, certainty, and confidence. Let’s dig in. The C is Clarity. It’s vital to understand that a boundary is something you set for yourself And It can be mental, emotional or physical. For the purpose of this episode which is being recorded March 2021, one year, almost to the date, when the Covid-19 pandemic shut down our lives as we knew them…I’m going to focus mental and the emotional boundaries because so many of us are still not in close physical proximity of each other. And frankly, I have no idea when the AFTER Times will look like. So clarity as the first lens to think about your boundaries. First question to ask yourself are What are your non-negotiables? Wellbeing I am not talk about bubble baths or massages – although those would be nice. In a WFH reality it’s about Family/friend time, exercise, walks and breaks during the day, also since your commute may not be the length of your hallway, getting clairty on when you are “Shutting Down” is important for your wellbeing. Next I look at Time management Blocking strategy time on your calendar – knowing when tasks drain you or give you energy then scheduling those tasks for when it works for you is another way of setting a boundary. You and your colleagues may decide non-negotiables For instance, a no meetings after 12p on Wednesday. It was a heads-down, get it done time. This isn’t about being inflexible. It’s about finding the best ways to work within your skills and strengths so that you can maintain your performance and wellbeing. Learning to say NO You are always saying NO to something You were really good at saying no when you were 2 But now it’s harder because we like the people we have to say no to or we are people pleasers, but People Pleasing is a lie. It’s doing something for someone else and putting their needs before yours because you are worried what they will think of you if you made a different decision. Yuk, it’s the worst cycle. You will feel resentful and frustrated when people don’t do the same or appreciate the sacrifices you are making. So, it’s totally normal to feel uncomfortable with saying no, but do you want to say yes and be resentful or say no and be uncomfortable but choose yourself first? Just remember you are always saying no to something. Be intentional with your NOs. The next C is Certainty or in this case Uncertainty Nothing is certain, managing your thoughts is managing your boundaries, identity is the only thing that creates certainty. What happens in a fast-paced entrepreneurial organization is that you bust your butt creating things sometimes for and/or with your client and then those things are canceled or killed. Or it didn’t work. This can be exasperating, exhausting and exciting all at once. Reminding ourselves that Nothing is certain is the path to freedom Adapting the thought that nothing has gone wrong can be incredibly freeing. You have just found one less way it will work. The effort has not been wasted—this is growth mindset – it was a learning effort. Versus I cant believe I did all this work and nothing came of it. You can’t let your brain be in charge of the show unconsciously. It’s vital to manage your mind so you don’t get burned out. In order to get through uncertainty, separate FACT from STORY. Facts – agreed upon in a court of law. It’s not a miserable day. It’s raining. He’s not yelling. He is speaking loud/ly She’s not rude. She’s brief in her emails. Can everyone in the world agree? If not I offer you an opportunity to think about it differently Managing boundaries is always about managing your thoughts. Certainty comes from personal identity and identity is a series of sentences you have about yourself. So get really clear in who you are, your skills, strengths, values, and beliefs, because these are the inputs to build a strong identity. When we know who we are, and how-to communicate our uniqueness we are able to increase our confidence and career satisfaction. I have seen this happen so many times with my clients. When we work together to create and communicate your personal identify and career narrative… confidence, opportunity, and collaborative increase 10x Certainty comes from knowing what you believe about yourself ahead of time and from their you can choose to respond vs react So you have clarity, certainty and the last step is confidence. It’s an inside job, it’s about the journey not the outcome, I have a tactical challenge for your and how to get neutral We create confidence in a few ways. 1) previous experience – I’ve done it before and I know how to do it again. AND 2) being able to experience and process an emotion and get through to the other side. When we allow the vibration of an emotion in our body to process, our brain begins to be trained that it’s safe to feel, its safe to experience any emotion, eventually our brain begins calm down, because we know we are not in danger. and once the sensation has passed, the brain can get back to thinking of a solution. We may not like the feeling, When we know we can get through this, we are able to step up for opportunities, challenges, and new experiences A growth mindset builds confidence because it allows you to see setbacks as learning opportunities. It’s being the watcher of your thoughts as you work towards mastery of the skill. Confidence also comes from evaluating the efforts. We talk about this in episode 3 about wallowing in highlights, lowlights, and how you would pivot. When building confidence we have to keep questioning our thoughts and neutralize the negative ones. We train our brains by asking what if it’s possible, I am willing to believe differently. Practice those new thoughts frequently and over time, your brain relaxes, and begins to accept the new thought. Here’s an example of what I mean. Lets say you are going for an internal promotion. When you brain says I really want to lead that promotion and the other side of your brain says, they are never going to tap me, spend some time in neutrality. A possible alternative thought between those two previous thoughts could be I may be able to get the promotion Fast-paced environments can be exciting and sometimes they are challenging. Managing boundaries always comes from choosing our thoughts. We create clarity. We understand that only our identity is certain, and lastly, we practice creating confidence. To recap: The first C is clarity – get clear on your well being non-negotiables, time management and knowing what you are really saying NO to The second C is certainty. Separate story from fact. Know your skills, strengths, values, and beliefs. These factors create your identity. Which is the thing you can be truly certain about. The last C is confidence Building confidence is an inside job, we have to practice positive thoughts and neutralize the negative ones. |
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