Do you fall into New Year’s resolution thinking? Do you think things will be better when you get THERE? In this episode we’ll discuss
- What is January 1st thinking
- Why new opportunities rarely make us feel better about ourselves
- The 4 main reasons we lose our motivation for a goal
- Simple formula for changing and creating new behaviors
It’s a false belief that the strike of the clock to a new day, or starting a new job will change everything. It won’t without a focused thought and action plan.
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|Read the Transcript|
Welcome back. A new year. It’s January and ya know what most people do in January?
They set goals. Detox. Dryuary.
Why do we set goals? For most of us it’s because we believe that the destination, the achievement will hold a certain happiness.
We think it’s better THERE. It’s not. Because wherever you go there you are.
You want to get to a destination that you think will hold certain happiness.
You think that something outside yourself is going to make you feel better. You think situations and events will create your happiness.
Sure, they may cause you to have good thoughts and feelings at the moment but if you think that something like a date on the calendar is going to change everything it’s not.
Only your thoughts will.
So many of us put our happiness on hold.
Because we think that when we get the job, or the new opportunity, or lose weight, then things will be better. Things will be perfect. We wait for Jan 1st
When someone comes to me looking to get out of their current job situation because they find it difficult or challenging, I tell them my hope for them is to clean up their thinking first. Before they make the move.
Editor’s note: If you are in a toxic or harmful situation I am not suggesting that you stay. I’m talking about run of the mill malaise, frustration, anxiety, and annoyance.
Ok, we’re back, You don’t want to create a new opportunity desperately running from someone or thing.
You can create a new opportunity, for sure, but you are going to be bringing all your baggage with you and your stinkin thinkin with you. You risk recreating your same scenario.
You don’t break up with your partner on Tuesday and find a new mate on Friday.
Or If you do, you are probably going to need some support to work through your thoughts and feelings. Because your thoughts and feelings are coming with you. And they are going to create your results.
So often we think that we have to get THERE.
Sometimes you come with a basket of anxiety. You think, I gotta fix this, figure it out, and solve this. I need to be in a new place.
Or maybe you feel like you’ve wasted time. What does that mean to waste time?
Friends, you spend it. You can’t waste it.
We believe we have to be productive all the time. And if you are not productive you are worth-less because you are not getting there fast enough.
We are all trained culturally, and maybe even by our family of origin that we have to get THERE.
We are trained to focus on the next thing. We must strive. Ambition yes. Strive. Force. Hustle? It’s old school thinking.
The Always striving and looking forward means we are never present.
So we are always in the search but never receive the reward of what we have achieved. This creates more stress and anxiety because you are always working and never achieving.
Being present simply means not falling into the illusion that getting there is BETTER than where you are right now.
For years that was hard to wrap my head around. But here me out.
We want to achieve because of how we think it will make us feel. The pride, the sense of accomplishment.
Confidence, pride, certainty, Joy and happiness all come from what’s going on in our minds.
Those feelings can be created now. I can shift my thoughts and get there now.
I can have a hard day and feel anxious. I can then think of someone I love and feel joy. That’s the simple shift I am talking about. It takes practice but it’s possible.
I get to choose now how I want to think. And you may be saying that you need to find your next career move.
It will just change your surroundings. If you are prone to lack of confidence, uncertainty, anxiousness, negative thinking, conditioned by the struggle and the hustle, and your efforts in trying to get THERE, then I suggest that you find things to enjoy and appreciate about your current situation first.
That will help you be more at ease on your search and you will be able to think clearly.
You’ll be able to check your gut and make decisions from a place of knowing vs escapism.
You can begin to think, what are the results I want to create vs I have to get out of here.
There is no significance to Jan 1st beyond what we make it mean.
It’s a false belief that the strike of the clock to a new day, or starting a new job will change everything.
It wont without a focused thought and action plan.
If the idea of a new day, or new year, brings you the motivation to rethink your approach, and investigate your thoughts, and create a vision, and the smaller goals along the way, then definitely go run with that momentum.
If at some point you find that your resolve fades after a few days you are totally normal. Welcome to the human experience.
Your resolve fades because you either
didn’t have a specific plan, or you had many things you wanted to change and lacked focus.
you didn’t build a mindset strategy to work through obstacles or you didn’t make a plan to stay motivated along the way. Most of us stay motivated by the end goal, but are you motivated in the nooks and crannies of the everyday?
The fix to fortify your resolve comes from making a decision.
And to be super clear, most people make a thought, not a decision.
So what to do to stick to your resolutions?
First, make a decision. A decision is a committed thought AND a committed action.
Next, apply my 1x1x1 rule.
Strategy is sacrifice. Like a NYC diner menu there are going to be so many options. Don’t fall into decision fatigue.
Pick ONE thing or behavior where you want to change.
Pick ONE thing you will do every day.
Strive for ONE percent, yup, that’s 1% better.
Action plans and Resolutions are kept when you approach creating a new behavior, by choosing one action, and achieve 1% more –or 1% level up– each day.
The 1% accretion leads to an accumulation of strategic wins in other areas.
It’s that old, rising tides float all boats adage. 1x1x1 my friend.
What small things can you do today to reach your goal?
Hey before I wrap, I wanted to tell you about a new program I am launching. It’s a group coaching career program that will help you.
You’ll know your strengths, values, motivating skills, career interests, AND the ability to articulate them effectively.
You’ll learn how to leverage your strengths in any situation.
You’ll choose your career purpose and begin to design what’s next for your career.
You’ll have keywords and phrases to describe yourself effectively and with certainty.
You’ll know how to create and leverage your thoughts and feelings to accomplish your goals.
You’ll confidently know how to approach opportunities.
You’ll learn how to stop self-sabotage.
Your career wellbeing will improve and uplift all areas of your life.
I’ll put the link to get on the list for more information in the show notes.
Alright friends, Have a great week and I will see you next time.