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In this episode you’ll learn that belief and doubt are normal cycles. In this episode discover:
● Believe and doubt cycles are normal
● How to spot a doubt cycle before you believe your doubt-based thoughts
● How to manage and minimize the cycles of belief and doubt
When we begin working on goals, it is inevitable that we will run through cycles of belief and doubt. Nothing has gone wrong.
| Read the Transcript |
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| Hey friends, welcome back. This week I want to talk about something I spend a lot of time in. It’s belief and doubt. Cycling through belief and doubt is totally normal. And it can happen many times in a given day when you are working on creating change for yourself, your career or your business. Years ago I got really curious as to why somedays I would think about a goal I wanted and feel like it was do-able and only a few hours later I would begin to doubt and feel like the goal was impossible. But nothing had happened. Meaning, I was still sitting in my office. No new news or feedback. No new information that could justify why I was now in doubt. It would just happen. And then I would get confused because really nothing happened. Eventually I was tipped off that my thoughts happened. That somewhere consciously or unconsciously I was having a thought that was creating the doubt. I got some great coaching which really helped me see that it was my thoughts. Which was both frustrating and amazing. Amazing because I was doing this to myself. I was sitting at the beach and it occurred to me that my thoughts were like the tides. High tide. Low tide. It’s just a cycle. And I am the one creating the cycle. When I desire something or if I set a goal, I know that I need to believe that I am capable of taking the steps or actions in order to achieve the goal. But it doesn’t always start out that way. You have to work up to believing you can achieve the goal. Makes sense, right? Otherwise they wouldn’t be goals, they would be your to do list. you would not ever achieve anything if you did believe you could. When we begin working on goals, it is inevitable that we will run through cycles of belief and doubt. Nothing has gone wrong. It’s just your half-managed mind doing its thing. You have a desire but somewhere in your unmanaged mind doubt creeps in. Usually because the more you want something you can become urgent or graspy. Suddenly the thing you were excited about feels far away, or out of your control. And when you start to think about how you’ll achieve your goal, the thoughts bring up all your drama. But here’s the thing. You are creating the doubt. I read recently that almost 61% of people decided to “playing it safe” this thought prevented them from making better career choices. They doubted themselves and then they listened to their doubt. If you had told me a 10 years ago that I was going to leave corporate and my success career that I created for myself to pursue entrepreneurialship first, I would have never believed you. And second, I would have never believed me. I would have never believed that I could scale the second mountain, so to speak and be successful at it. Look, It’s be great. Amazing and I am so glad I did it. Four years in I have built a successful coaching and consulting business. And I still have doubts. Because I have goals and dreams. And listen, if you want to challenge yourself and learn how to grow and manage your mind, I recommend quitting your job and starting your own thing. It’s like putting miracle grow on your doubts and then taking a saw to each and every one of them. But today I am here to tell you that the doubts are going to come. They are going to be there. You just have to work through them. When I heard that adage that courage is just fear that has said it’s prayers. First I was like um, shut the F up. Then I thought more and kinda understand what they mean. It’s a ridiculous thing to post on pinterst but I now get the sentiment. Doubt is something you are creating. Our brains want to keep us safe. Your brain wants to stay efficient and comfortable. It’s just your brain trying to project you, it’s anticipating danger and it will protect you even if the protection is creating unwanted results. The fear is that you think you won’t be able to handle the feelings that will come up as you work towards your goal. When you set goals for yourself the doubt is going to come up. It’s the natural response the brain is going to have when we challenge it or ask it to strive for a goal. Your brain is going to tell you that you can’t do it, you are not going to get the job, or that you won’t make the money, or that if you got the 30% raise it’s going to be 30% more work… Doubt is just the thoughts that are attacking your natural talents and strengths. When you are going after something new, something big, it can feel scary, or graspy if you really want it. but suddenly there’s a thought rattling around that is whispering words that make you feel unsettled. It can feel like a lot of effort to overcome this negative thinking. When you are believing in something the thought feels possible. It’s positive. Maybe you feel a swell of joy or excitement in your chest. It feels good when you think it. Because you believe your thought is possible. You keep thinking the thought and it creates momentum. And Doubt works in the same way. You keep thinking a negative thought and the thought takes hold. One thought is positive. One thought is negative. The difference is the feeling that is connected to your thoughts. This is why I love the visual of high tide and low tide. It just happens. Twice a day. Doubt will happen. But it’s just a thought you’ve created. So often we cycle through belief and doubt when we are trying to set and accomplish goals. When you are growing and evolving the doubt is going to be stronger. Going for a promotion or getting the promotion can be like miracle grow for your doubts. The bigger the goal, the bigger the doubts. We think that if we are following our dreams – whether for your career, your purpose, or your business we are often either in the doubt cycle from the start of we think if we are following our dreams that it will be rainbows and unicorns. Ehhhh, don’t count on it. But don’t take the escape route either. Don’t run from the doubt thoughts. Your brain will suggest that you need to get to work. You need to DO something to hit the goal. That all feels very fast and urgent…because it comes from the fear that you won’t hit your goal. You’re retraining your brain at this moment. Expect your mind to still have thoughts and feelings that aren’t in line with your new belief. When you see those crappy thoughts, jot them down on paper, accept that they’re there, remember that all thoughts are optional and creating either results you want or result you don’t want. One example of doubt is when you set a goal, but you do not believe you will hit it. A less obvious example of doubt is when we forget that we have a goal, or we have stopped thinking about our goal. You cannot be working towards something if we are not thinking about it. You get to choose belief or doubt each time your cycle through the emotions. Your emotions will tell you which feeling you are experiencing. Whichever feeling you choose is how you are going to show up working towards your goal. When cycling through belief, you will probably have one of the feelings like calm, excitement positivity, ease, curiosity, determination, focus… And doubt may bring up feelings like anxious, uncertain, judgement, rushed or frantic, stress… Find the feeling you are experiencing. Ask yourself, what am I thinking right now that is causing this feeling? Then look at your actions and result. What are you learning about yourself? We are being the watcher of our mind and noticing our feelings. Once we have awareness, we can choose how we want to think and feel. There is an enormous sense of pride when you work thought the doubt cycle and start to see movement. There will then be more doubt, but you will get better at it. Successful people have doubts you just tend not to see them because they’ve either become a master at hiding them or they are constantly working on them, so they are not in our face and visible. Today, when I feel the doubt set in, I usually just say, oh, is this what we are going to do to ourselves today, Jill? Is this how we are going to use our time? It’s not going to go away but sticking with my ocean metaphor you learn to surf. It may sound crazy but doubt signals growth. Change. Pivots. New stuff bubbling up. Doubt can feel really real. But we don’t want to surrender to it, we just want to get curious with it. What are you thinking as you review the obstacles in front of you? When you are in doubt your often creating a lot of evidence to prove your thought true. Do you want to keep thinking that? I know you are saying, no jill, I don’t. So that’s a choice to think otherwise. It’s a choice to choose what you want to belief and then you have to find a way to watch your mind and challenge your thoughts. It’s just a belief and doubt cycle. We all have them. Keep going. You got this. Alright, my friends. There’s a lot here so email me with questions at hello@jillgriffincoacing.com I will see you next time. |
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