Episode 84: The Myth of Work-Life Balance

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The idea that we can throw up boundaries and juggle it all to create work-life balance is a bit of a myth. In this episode, I’m sharing the 3 pillars for shaping life-work balance so that you can create the life and future you want. In this episode, I share how to: 

  • Tap into your future self so you can create the vision
  • Use your five senses to create what’s next 
  • Build the life-work requirements to build your balance
  • What to do when you forget your plan

Mentioned on the show: 

Stylist: Threads of Hershey
Stylist: Naana Badu
Stylist: Judith Gaton

The Career Refresh Podcast Episode: Building Your Board of Directors

Grab a Strengths & Strategy Session HERE

Follow @jillGriffinOffical on Instagram for daily inspiration. 

Visit JillGriffinCoaching.com for more details on my private and group coaching programs. 

Read the Transcript
Hey Welcome back to the Career Refresh podcast, with me, your host Jill Griffin 

Ok, my freshies, If you are new here, welcome. Each week I discuss strategies to keep your mind and your career fresh. I bust some BS myths, dig deep on mindset, talk about trends and chat with interesting people who share their experiences with keeping their career fresh while navigating career challenges. And this week I want to talk about ;the myth of work life balance. I mean why isnt it life work balance? 

With the continued talk of quiet quitter, listen to last week’s episode if you want to go deep, the reality is that many people are searching for ways to balance all that is expected of them. It’s it can be really challenging at times to navigate your circumstances. 

Over the last few months I have been working with clients who are rethinking once again their approach to the balance debate. And I am going to share the 3 pillars that I see as the foundation of your life and work and how you can create the harmony you are seeking. 

The first is having a bit of a chat with your future self. If order to know where you are going, you have to think about where you are going.

In order for you to become the most, what, what is it for you? 

The most balanced? Confident? Unstoppable? Successful? Connected? What will life work balance bring you? And in order for your to be THAT, you are going to have to spend some time really running through the vision.  

What does your future self creating? 
What does he feel? 
What does she think?
What got them THERE?
What are the 3 most common feelings she is experiencing on a daily basis? Inspiration? Confidence? Calm, focus? Ease?
What’s different about your FS life?
How do others describe you?
What is the impact you’ve created for your self, your family, friends, and colleagues, industry?

I really want you to tap into your 5 senses too. This is really how you get into the mindset? What does your future self see, feel, taste, hear, and smell?

Your future self may see yourself speaking at an industry event, feel your mac book in your hands, hear the din of the audience, taste the mint in your mouth, and smell the gentle fragrance of the theater.

Your future self may see yourself on holiday, feel the softness of the sofa cushions on your skin, hear the voices of your friends or family nearby, taste the deliciousness of the meal you just ate in your mouth, and smell the aroma of the sea air around you.

Are you with me? And this exercise is something that I do often. I want to keep planning and charting where I am going so this exercise helps me great a vision. 

Next, In order to create this reality, this integration, or life-work balance, you are going to need to think about some of requirements or non-negotiables that will shape your reality. 

What needs to happen in order to become your future self?

Sleep – how much do you need to become your best

Food – what does fuel and nourishment look like to you. 

Exercise – Make this real with a stretch. Meaning you are probably not going to run a marathon in 2 months if you are not currently a runner but you could probably do it in 6 months. 

If you are not consistently with exercise now start with something that feels a little like a stretch by not impossible. As you meet your future self in the present you up-level yoru goals. 

Friends. Who are you hanging out with. Its not joke that you are the mix of the 5 people you spend time with – so who’s that going to be? Remember this is about GETTING to your future self.

Whats your morning routine. If you are a parent or a spouse, how does that blend in?

Business connections. Who do you want to spend your time with? Partner with? Who’s on your bod? Go check out the episode on nov 9, 2021 on how to think about your personal BOD

Domestic help. Whether you need babysitters, nanny’s, and handy-person, instacart, someone to help in stuff around the house or if you are going to trade or barter services people in your neighborhood or building, what do you need? Whos on your squad? I also take biz cards and contacts before I actually need them. I like to be prepared. 

Who are the money honeys? Seriously, your accountant, financial planner, or a mindset coach? Who’s helping you with the money side of your future self?

Fun – what does your FS do for fun? How do you spend a weekend or downtime?What about self care? What does that look like for you?

Skills – are there skills you want to up level on your path to your future self? Mindset? Speaking skills, storytelling, decision making – what does your future self need and how can you hook them up today?

Style. Is your 2019 pre-pandemic self still rocking your closet? What does your 2024 self need? You can follow or find a style coach. I’ve done recent episodes of this podcast with Judith Gaton or Naana Bana. Or check out the ThreadsofHershey. I love the kristens and I call them my special K’s. 

Media. What are you going to stop. Start continue with it comes to media. Do you want timers on your phone and app usage? Are they show to start or stop watching? 

Boundaries. Work hours. Emails. Weekends. What are the trade offs? If you have to crush it this week, what happens next week? What needs to be in place?

Seriously take inventory. Like all businesses, they take inventory 1-2x a year. You need to do that too in order to create your FS. 

So we have the visioning step, we the requires and non-neotiables pillars. Last set is mindset. You have to manage your mind around all you’ve created. 

Recently I was work with a client who had done an enormous job of pulling back from the 70+ hours he was work each week. 

The leaky boundaries around weekend and work when it was not important or urgent, and he was feeling really good. 

I mean for many of us the hours during the high of covid were intense and the creep of hours plus the lack of a commute was like urban sprawl. 

However because of the work he did he actually had a July – a summer. Even a few family getaways where he unplugged and spent time wth his family not reaching for his devices. 

There was no drama. No one was questioning why he wasnt answering in 30 minutes or less. things were feeling good. He had calm. Was exercising. And sleeping well. 

And the. And then. Little by little. Feeling good, feeling like he could “do a bit more” or “just get ahead” he felt “rested” and like he could take on a bit more. Of course, he neglected to mention any of this to me when we spoke, I was sensing his anxiousness was increasing. 

Suddenly by August the email creep and the loss of weekends was back. 

Why? Because we have a built in forgetter. 

Forming new habits takes some time. We have to building in boundaries and calendering and buffers. We need to make plans that are un-CANCELABLE. So that we train ourselves and others. 

We have to stay diligent until we remember again why we wanted to have life-work integration in the first place. 

To not be so exhausted. 
To get to our kids football game. 
To have a drink with friends after work, or spend time with the people we love and be PRESENT when we are not obsessing over what we think we have to do. 

As more offices are trying to figure out the remote and hybrid work strategy, this is a GREAT time to rethink the balance you want. 

It find the balance to miss work and get excited about a project or an experience again–which makes us better thinkers, and better workers. 
Your future self didnt get there through stress, anxiety or crawling to the weekend. 
Your future self got there through planning, boundaries and mindset management. 

Go do this work.  Wouldnt be awesome to create this plan in the next month and then have about You have about 3 months left to 2022 to live, practice and tweak it? 

Your future self will thank you. 

Ok friends, I appreciate you so much. I’ll see you nex time.