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Often managing your peers and inter-departmental dynamics is crucial for your success. But how to get people who don’t work for you to do work for you? In this episode we are going to discuss:
- The importance of emotional intelligence in managing anyone
- The 5 components of strong emotional intelligence
- Easy tips to network and build internal relationships
Managing across requires emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
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|Read the Transcript|
|Hey friend, welcome back. I want to take a moment to thank the hundreds of people who responded to my article in the HuffPost title “I hid my disability for 6 years and when I stopped my entire life changed.” I wrote the article with the hopes that I could create awareness of the challenges and obstacles that your colleagues may be going through but you don’t realize it.|
I am going to read two of the recent responses I received:
I wanted to reach out because your article in HuffPost made me cry. I have severe Ménière’s disease. I have those triggers as well. I have felt like I am not truly disabled because people can’t see it and I hide it as much as possible. Thank you for writing your article. It has given me a different perspective.
And the second
Hi Jill. I just read your piece in HuffPo “I hid my disability at work…” and I felt seen.
My hope is to create a broader culture of inclusion in the workplace. My goal is to help others create a career well-being that works for them and is not in a locale or a single workplace. It has to fit in your carry on and come with you.
Thanks for all your love and support and thanks to all my colleagues over the years who did support me or move mountains for me..Erica, Bent, and Olivier to name a few.
This week’s topic is how to manage your peers and how to get people who don’t work for you to do work for you! Sometimes we gel with our colleagues and we have a collaborative culture. Other times we work in fiefdoms and it feels very competitive on the inside. I have found from my personal experience and from the experiences that many clients have shared with me that this happens when there is low emotional intelligence and there is an incongruency around goals.
If you are so intent on meeting deadlines and reaching sales goals that you forget the human side of work, then you may want to refresh how you work with your peers.
We all know stories of the colleague who was highly skilled who was promoted into a leadership role and failed. We also know the stories of the average person that got promoted and soared.
The higher you rise in your department, your company, and your career, you’ll have an easier time if you strengthen your emotional IQ. Managing across requires emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Thinking through how you want to show up, how you want to be seen by your peers and then developing emotional intelligence will help you better understand your own—and others’— priorities, pressures, and work styles.
When we have shared goals and the OKRs are clear, then people tend to be more willing to find the shared win. But when we have different goals, oof. I once worked at a major media company where sales was out there selling inventory to brands but editorial was selling the same inventory to syndication and native advertising. I would basically make popcorn and watch edit and sales duke it out. Ultimately the inventory went to the highest bidder which meant someone had to disappoint a customer. The lack of clearly defined and aligned goals resulted in damaging credibility all around.
So…let’s look at what you can do when the direct path “hey, I need this from your department” does not work.
The indirect path may be a better approach. You want to build your networking connections before you really need them. Life will be easier.
Find opportunities for a laugh. Some of the greatest bonds I have formed with colleagues have been over a shared laugh about the ridiculousness of work. Work is awesome and equally ridiculous.
Sprinkle on some charm. I am not suggesting you be inauthentic but you can figure out if you have any similarities from where they went to college, to professional groups they may be a part of or even whom you both may know (do a linkedin search). Also a compliment. If he did a good job on a recent project or challenge let him know. But do your research and be sincere. It’s best to do this before you need it so yes, don’t be a dick and build those relationships in advance
Next, think about where you can do gifts and favors in advance. I used to lead the digital media strategy for Absolut Vodka and I assure you that finance, IT, business affairs all were kept well stocked. I am not suggesting you bribe someone – don’t do anything inviolation of a company policy. But a client recently sent a colleague who had a love of the american southwest and puzzles of the red rocks of Sedona and it was $20. The colleague was thrilled and I am better that my client will be in good shape when she needs something that requires a quick turn-around.
Lastly, back to the emotional intelligence, you can’t come in hard and sell your point. Create some self-awareness to see how you come across, deploy self-regulation so that you are not acting overly emotional (happy is good here, angry, competitive, combative, not going to work here), use motivation so you keep your sights on what you want to achieve, tap into your empathy so you can garner how the other party might feel from your ask, and use your social skills to Talk less and listen more.
Alright my friend, you can manage those that don’t report to you, it just requires a strategic mindset.
Before I wrap, I want to give you the career wake-up call you’ve been waiting for…go from wondering if “this is it?” to knowing and owning your genius and designing your career trajectory.
I want to help you develop the confidence you need to secure your future with a job that reflects not just your talents but who you are.
If you are constantly job-hopping, hoping this will be “the one”, Struggling to understand why you are secretly miserable in this job, that on paper, checks all the boxes or Frustrated that you can’t seem to figure out how to show up with executive presence, form relationships you need to feel secure in your position, or speak up eloquently and be heard
Then my friend, you’ve experienced The Corporate Identity Crisis.
Here’s the good news…on the other side of every good crisis is clarity, direction, and the possibility for a totally different life.
I’ve helped hundreds of clients amplify their strengths, increase visibility, create their career narrative, and design a bigger and brighter future using my proven framework.
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